There are some cool things about growing up in a dysfunctional family,wait.... scratch that....overall dysfunctional environment (even the neighbors babies and dogs were nuts!)
you grow either one of 2 things : a cynical, darkened and miserable attitude or, such as in my case: a super fun, circus-like, lighthearted 'i don't give a fuck, go with the flow' kinda attitude!
Thankfully, the latter has served me well in the sense that i now have an abundance of off the wall, ridiculous quirks (whatever, it's MY blog, I can blow smoke up my own ass!) and shall i dare say...........fabulous personality traits!
*tell that to the trail of men, women and roadkill i have left in my gypsy dust :)
seriously though.
all kidding aside
okay, not ALL kidding - but for a minute, most of it :)
my friend the other day described what i thought was a perfect analogy of what i deal with day to day. He said he always feels like he has Buddha on one shoulder and Bukowski on the other.
i thought it was fucking brilliant to say the least. PERFECT, actually.
I think, in my case though, it would be more Pippi Longstocking on the other side, instead of Bukowski. I've never really been a drinker.....mom and dad nailed that much better than i ever could. *note: Boozers are Losers
I never really thought anything of it growing up....being in a dysfunctional environment, that is. i mean- i was a fucking kid, i knew there was nothing i could do about it until i got the fuck out. so i just kinda....went with it. i figured out very early that everyone around me was pretty whack for the most part, and i also knew that if i was going to be sane and be the person that i felt i was inside, i'd better keep it to myself! there's nothing less accepted than a perfect circle in a gigantic maze..
so, i studied. and observed. and listened. and rebelled. and fucked off. and studied more. and SURVIVED.
but there were some cool benefits too. like:
Partying was on the House!:
i scored weed and booze easily. as long as i kept the drinks filled and the rolling trays comin- they never knew how much i pinched myself.
The Art of Bullshiting:
i could bullshit my way out of just about ANYTHING. (it's amazing what reverse psychology does on grown adults...granted they were not coherent adults, but adults, none the less!)
Laughter is Everything:
*KEY : learn how to tell a good joke and you are on easy street!
(nothin better than a room full of drunken stoners to entertain with my sarcastic, honest 11 year old wit)
- the funny thing is, looking back- i used all of them as the butt of all of my jokes, and they were all too high to realize that i was blatantly disrespecting each and every one of them.
jackasses.....
What's not chained down is yours!:
i could just point out a bike that i liked, and i pretty much had it by sunrise the next day. i never realized that bikes actually HAD serial #'s that were not all scratched off! looking back, i didn't even realize how bad it was that all of my bikes that my dad scored for us were taken from other kids who probably couldn't afford to buy another one either. *the mentality of the hood, half the time is that it's easier to steal from your own kind rather than go to a rich neighborhood and get the man called on you before you even step out of the lowrider.
Fighting for Excercise!:
i could box like a champ by 6 years old. i was known for beating down many a kid in my hood up until 6th grade. my dad/trainer's philosophy worked really well up until that point: Knock em out first, Talk later (or not). sometimes i'd like to still use that philosophy....
Learn from the Best:
My mom: a wild, untamed lit fuse that she was/is a fucking CHARACTER. Talk about funny as shit! Shameless, raw, uncut, crass and bold. (my mother, and yes, i know - me too) she was the one to watch.
but like an Amy-fucking-Winehouse story - the drugs and booze had a better taste to her than the smell of success or compromise. Overall though - she is her own hardest judge and jury, so i realized to just let it all go awhile ago. It's her journey anyways, not mine.
It takes a village to run a circus:
the most colorful tribe of people raised me in what was absolutely, hands down, a fucking circus like i have never known since. and i found myself one day talking about it to some conservative dumbass, who just looked at me with sorrow in his eyes, and i realized right then- that if i am SMILING the whole time i ever talk about these crazy ass memories, than why is it branded on me that i am damaged, or broken? im fucking strong man! and broken? hell no! believe me, i've used enough crazy glue and duct tape to hold my shit To-Geth-A!
*god i love duct tape
Lesson Learned:
so, on that note, and not going off into complete left field, i just want to say that if riding on the Dysfunction Junction has made me who i am right now, today- then SIGN ME UP for a roundtrip! Cause I would seriously go thru all of this over and over again as long as I can be the free thinking, positive person that i am today who has a bigger appreciation and lust for life and love than most anybody i meet.
im pretty sure that i could just do without the government cheese,the Pinto as a family car and knowing the prison system by 8 years old though!
.... that i could live okay without again.
If You Can't Laugh at Life
YOU'RE PROBABLY BORING
and i dont wanna hang out with you anyways....
or like my mama used to say
'Fuck em if they can't take a joke!'
PEACE!
GypCee
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