If I Could Keep Just One Image of You
i'd take a lifetime making the choice....
may be the sound or the tone of your voice
make that two lifetimes......yeah.....
we know those words well, don't we?
we sang them together maybe a thousand times.
danced in the moonlight, above a crowd of people to them...
and the only picture on my mind,
was just an image of you....
and in those same words, if i had to choose right now,
i never could.
i listened to your message today. again.
your voice is so weak. i can feel you slipping away.
i dont want to say goodbye C.
i never did.....and that's probably why i never have.
11 years of you in my life. 7 years of you close to me.
4 of those my favorite.
i learned alot from you.
from the love we shared.
and if i never get the chance to tell you these things i want to say now,
i want you to know that they are all very real to me.
everything we shared was very,very real C.
through the good times, the bad, the hysterical ones and all of that time that has passed in between.....
you need to know this:
~i knew from the moment i laid my eyes on you that i was going to love you.
~i laughed SO much with you and shared some of the VERY best times of my life with you.
~you were always and will forever be so very,very handsome to me.
~to this day ~ you still are the BEST kisser. my god.....
~the dynamic we shared was my most unusual with anyone before or since.
i never had power over it. i could never control it.
i hated you and loved you for that all at the same time a million times over.
~you cut my hair better than ANYONE and i think it's because you looked at me the closest....
from all angles, in all lights....
~ive never felt as beautiful in anyones eyes as when i would catch you from across the room staring at me....and we would lock eyes & hold those moments...with no words, just knowing what we were both saying ~
i STILL am waiting for more of those moments with someone. damn you
~the tears i cried in your arms were ones for my heart. even though i probably gave you some bullshit story that i had sand in my eyes or something...they were for and from my heart C. you tapped into it. into the depths that have yet again to be reached....and i still cry for the same thing....
~even though i've probably told you a thousand times that i didnt care- I ALWAYS CARED.
i always did. and most importantly, i always will.....
~i loved watching you play drums. you are really, very good.....and even though you wished you could sing like Chris Cornell too, i thought you were perfect the way you were....
Christian:
i want to Thank You for so much. i want to thank you for sharing a part of your life with me that will forever be a part of my story. i loved you, C....for many years. many of the most important years of my life....to be honest, i stayed in Laguna Beach for 7 years partly because of that love i shared with you. we had some great times, didn't we? so many, i lost count. God, we laughed together too!! so, so much. Til we cried even. You were such a prick at times too, but damn you are WITTY! one of your best qualities for sure. you got me so many times.....and i couldn't do anything else but laugh right along with you... LOL
As you fight your fight right now and look for that 'miracle' as you said....i want you to take with you all of this that i say now. because i may not get to say it again.
and if you beat this cancer demon, and go on with your life....and marry Carla...and stay in Mexico... i want you to know all of this anyways...
so please take these words i say now, C. hold them close for a minute and remember the few things i mentioned and the million that i didn't and close your eyes with them all....
and remember....
if i could keep one image of you, i'd take a lifetime making the choice.
i love you C.
forever.
love, ATB
i'd take a lifetime making the choice....
may be the sound or the tone of your voice
make that two lifetimes......yeah.....
we know those words well, don't we?
we sang them together maybe a thousand times.
danced in the moonlight, above a crowd of people to them...
and the only picture on my mind,
was just an image of you....
and in those same words, if i had to choose right now,
i never could.
i listened to your message today. again.
your voice is so weak. i can feel you slipping away.
i dont want to say goodbye C.
i never did.....and that's probably why i never have.
11 years of you in my life. 7 years of you close to me.
4 of those my favorite.
i learned alot from you.
from the love we shared.
and if i never get the chance to tell you these things i want to say now,
i want you to know that they are all very real to me.
everything we shared was very,very real C.
through the good times, the bad, the hysterical ones and all of that time that has passed in between.....
you need to know this:
~i knew from the moment i laid my eyes on you that i was going to love you.
~i laughed SO much with you and shared some of the VERY best times of my life with you.
~you were always and will forever be so very,very handsome to me.
~to this day ~ you still are the BEST kisser. my god.....
~the dynamic we shared was my most unusual with anyone before or since.
i never had power over it. i could never control it.
i hated you and loved you for that all at the same time a million times over.
~you cut my hair better than ANYONE and i think it's because you looked at me the closest....
from all angles, in all lights....
~ive never felt as beautiful in anyones eyes as when i would catch you from across the room staring at me....and we would lock eyes & hold those moments...with no words, just knowing what we were both saying ~
i STILL am waiting for more of those moments with someone. damn you
~the tears i cried in your arms were ones for my heart. even though i probably gave you some bullshit story that i had sand in my eyes or something...they were for and from my heart C. you tapped into it. into the depths that have yet again to be reached....and i still cry for the same thing....
~even though i've probably told you a thousand times that i didnt care- I ALWAYS CARED.
i always did. and most importantly, i always will.....
~i loved watching you play drums. you are really, very good.....and even though you wished you could sing like Chris Cornell too, i thought you were perfect the way you were....
Christian:
i want to Thank You for so much. i want to thank you for sharing a part of your life with me that will forever be a part of my story. i loved you, C....for many years. many of the most important years of my life....to be honest, i stayed in Laguna Beach for 7 years partly because of that love i shared with you. we had some great times, didn't we? so many, i lost count. God, we laughed together too!! so, so much. Til we cried even. You were such a prick at times too, but damn you are WITTY! one of your best qualities for sure. you got me so many times.....and i couldn't do anything else but laugh right along with you... LOL
As you fight your fight right now and look for that 'miracle' as you said....i want you to take with you all of this that i say now. because i may not get to say it again.
and if you beat this cancer demon, and go on with your life....and marry Carla...and stay in Mexico... i want you to know all of this anyways...
so please take these words i say now, C. hold them close for a minute and remember the few things i mentioned and the million that i didn't and close your eyes with them all....
and remember....
if i could keep one image of you, i'd take a lifetime making the choice.
i love you C.
forever.
love, ATB
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